To take or not to take the "peace pill"

Letting Go is like a pill you dont want to take but the pill brings peace when it it goes down. Life aint like McDonalds- have it your way- all the time. When I agree to have it God's way, I fair much better.

When I was around 12 years old, I had the issue of constantly losing my voice. The loss was a great one since at the time, Singing was one of the few joys of my heart.
I immersed myself in singing the way some people practice religion. Songwriting became a way for me to communicate with the world and share my pain and my healing. If I couldnt sing the songs I had written, there was a road block. That spiritual road block crushed my little golden heart and soul.

At the time, there were a few possible cuases for my constant loss. One possible reason was my constant talking above normal volume levels for fear I would not be heard.
Another possible reason was my not insisting the volume of the monitor be raised when singing with my band at weddings and events. If I didnt hear myself, I wanted people to LIKE me so much as a person, I just forfeited my right and need to be heard. Didnt wanna come off like a DIva, you know..."make me louder please, still louder, no, a little louder, etc"

I used to have a sort of sarcastic joke poking pun at myself with my friends in order to be able to handle my voice's constant disappearing act. The joke was soemthing liket this,
"Me? I lose my voice so easily....flatulance could make my voice go on me!' Gross I know...but if felt like the only way to describe the undependability of a God given talent which was seemingly being taken from me day after day. I felt frustrated, afraid and doomed sometimes.

Then one day I let go, I gave my voice to God.

At first, I cried out at the altar at a women's retreat. I told the Lord I wasnt gonna let go till he Blessed me. I cried and cried like Hanna in the Bible, so much that people probably thought I was drunk. I wasnt. I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

But when a gal at my women's meeting grabbed me up from the ground and insisted I dance with joy with the rest of the group, I got the God given message. God had heard my prayers and it was time to let go. I had done all the research I could and now I needed to take joy as my dance partner.

We danced that night - Messianic dance- the hora- whatever we were doing- and I received the gift of freedom that night. Little did I know that as I let go of my dream to sing, the Lord was about to give it back to me.

A few short months later, I met Christian Singer Joy Williams, in the elevator at the Gospel Music Conference in Nashville where I miraculously got to the finalist level, competing in the annual Singers "Spotlight" competition. In 1 minute flat going from 2nd floor to 1st, I told JOY (williams) my problem and she solved it. Sent me to her favorite DR in Nashville who sent me to his favorite Doctor in NY.

Dr. Yahn found a non cancerous cyst. Removed it in surgery, teamed me up with Israeli voice therapist Anat Keidar and a week later, I was singing 8 notes higher. A few years later I went on tour and because the Lord healed me, I was able to sing almost every night for 18 months straight...no problem.

Take the actions, let go of the reults. Get the research done regarding your issue, then lift up your voice to the heavens and say, it's YOURS Lord. I am YOURS LORD. This is what I have learned and am learning each day I live. There is a time to get info and talk to your friends and research and then there is a time to sit down and let Go and let God.

I pray this blesses somebody. I'm taking my "peace pill" now regarding some other things I find myself attached to- some dreams I have been holding onto a little too tightly, some THINGS I want, etc. But it's all the Lord's now. I sit quietly in His presence, happy to be here, grateful for what He has already done. Happy if I get what I want, content if I don't.

(this blog Inspired by The Bible, Philippians chapter 4 & the Alanon Program, Step 3)

1 comment

  • ken switzer

    ken switzer

    "Happy if I get what I want, content if I don't". Sister, I hear you and I agree with that statement!! make the most of every opportunity the L-rd gives you ---- because HE trusts you to accomplish HIS will!!! yeah, have an awesome day -- how could we not? ken

    "Happy if I get what I want, content if I don't". Sister, I hear you and I agree with that statement!!
    make the most of every opportunity the L-rd gives you ---- because HE trusts you to accomplish HIS will!!!
    yeah,
    have an awesome day -- how could we not?
    ken

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