The cure for the “noonday demon” of apathy  


"Acedia (also accidie or accedie, from Latin acedĭa, and this from Greek ἀκηδία, negligence) describes a state of listlessness or torpor, of not caring or not being concerned with one's position or condition in the world. It can lead to a state of being unable to perform one's duties in life. Its spiritual overtones make it related to but arguably distinct from depression.[1] Acedia was originally noted as a problem among monks and other ascetics who maintained a solitary life." Pasted from Wikipedia

“I will bless those who have humble and contrite hearts, who tremble at my word" Isaiah 66:2B

"Contrite-feeling or showing sorrow and remorse for a sin or shortcoming" Pasted from Merriam-webster.com
 
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I’m no Bible scholar but as I examine the scriptures today, I wonder…Could a contrite heart be the perfect cure for APATHY or Acedia?
I remember a few years back, there was this horrible phase I went through of feeling what felt like a plague of eternal pessimism & numbness of heart.
 
Every thought in my mind saw good as evil, man’s kindness as trickery, and all happy roads leading to death. Sounds morbid and maybe wrong of me to write this during this happy holiday season. But it’s a sick suffering inside that so many people go through.
 
Had I heard and seen too much? Was I hurt too much? Did I take my focus off of the spiritual prize in life and pleasing God and turn my eyes to a more temporal and fleeting goal? YES probably. But I didn’t know it at the time & it felt like I was in a rut and there was no way out.
 
Finally, I began to find my “cure." I confessed this sick emotional condition or unintentional sin if you will with a contrite heart,  to a trustworthy friend. A combination of my journaling each day, reading a Psalm & reading a book about “Acadia” was my perfect medicine. The book walked me through all the reasons I was stuck in this season of perpetual sadness.
 
It took a while, maybe even a year. But my longing to care, to help those in need, and my desire to sing and lead others to salvation, which originally seemed dormant, came back with zeal & firey passion. While originally I was feeling too sad to let God fix me, I taught myself to continually confess this to Him and ask him to make me care.

Because I could still laugh a lot, and venture out for fun family trips,
I figured this was not depression. But I had read that apathy should not be minimized. It's is a serious spiritual disease and even the monks of old called it the Noonday demon.
 
 
I don’t remember the exact moment the Lord healed my heart but I FEEL SOOOOOOOOO MUCH MORE ALIVE now & I love it!!!! He gave me back my caring heart, which very often, breaks for the things that break His heart. He has now given me a contrite heart. Contrite is defined as “Feeling or showing sorrow and remorse for sin or shortcoming.” I now feel sad for the things in this world, which make God sad. I believe God weeps and mourns for us just like a mother for her child. He longs to help us and save us from even ourselves
 
We all need to check ourselves now and then to see if we still love passionately, if we still care passionately or if that care is faded into numbness and apathy. God is powerful to heal us and you know what? I believe your purpose & my purpose here on earth, as God’s vessel is way too valuable for us to forget to check the spiritual state we are in.
 
My prayer
During this season and always, Lord help us be filled with your beautiful presence, caring as you care. Give us contrite hearts. Amen.
 
VISIT www.michellegold.com/GIVE to find out how to partner with me on my Who Will Go? Album & Outreach project.

 

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