My emotions are bursting as I type, not knowing what to say or how to express myself. But I am passionatly aware that the enemy of my soul has tried to trick me more than once into thinking I am not worth it. There have been times that even though my BRAIN says, I am loved and I am crowned with splendor by God, I fear I am not worth one thought, one friendship, one heart. "Give up live ministry performance!" the voice says. "No one cares about your message & your existance," the voice says.
But then I recall the voice of my God, the voice of my mother and the voice of my husband and mentor Joe Franco. All three of these voices have been powerful influences in my life. All three of these have spoken (to me or about me) with greatness of attitude and overwhelming excitment about my future. The Word of God in the Jewish Scriptures (book of Jeremiah) says that God has plans to prosper me and you. There are tons of beautiful scriptures about how I am (and you are also) a crown of splendor in God's mighty hand and how when we believe in Him, we become a royal priesthood, a holy nation...ROYALTY!!!
I try therpay on myself. "SNAP OUT OF THIS," my heart yells at me. "None of us feels we are worth much at all until the Lord comes along and shows us our value is in Him." A more gentle kind of therapy follows. I imagine how I would react if my own daughter told me she doesnt feel worth anything. Oh my goodness and if SHE said she wasnt worth it to ME, I would utterly embrace her. I would look her in the eyes and with every bit of ferver within me, I would tell her that her feelings are not facts. I would tell her she is worth more than the moon and the stars to me.
So what do we do with our twisted minds? How do we tame the thoughts which turn us away from God's will and from loving ourselves? We MUST surround ourselves with praiseworthy friends who lift us up, music which lifts us up and the Word of God. We MUST pray & let God heal us. We can do that now.
LET'S PRAY TOGETHER:
Father forgive me for thinking I am not worth it. You made me and I dont mean to insult your beautiful works. You said in Psalm 145 that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Help me to love and value myself each day no matter what I do or dont do and no matter what others say or don't say. Lord, love me and teach me how to love myself as you do.
Love, your princess, Michelle Gold
Inspired by this article: http://www.allaboutphilosophy.org/what-am-i-worth-faq.htm